Made up Simpson Words

SIMPSONS WEEK RETURNS!

Wikipedia, the Internet Encyclopedia, credits The Simpsons with creating 89 distinct words or phrases. After pouring over the list, I have reluctantly narrowed down to the Top Ten and an honorable mention.

THE TOP TEN MADE UP SIMPSONS’ WORDS

Honorable Mention Boo-urns – This doesn’t really belong on the list, but I loves me some Hans Moleman, and must give a shout out!

#10 Kwyjibo – Bart uses this in Scrabble, and tells Homer it’s, “A big dumb balding North American Ape….with no chin.” Then he runs for it.

#9 Führerific – What Bart calls Hitler’s car. I include this mostly because I want you to use it in a sentence this week. “Hey, boss: that meeting was Führerific!” Keep a straight face and I bet you can get away with it.

#8 Diddley – I wonder what my 15 year old neighbor would say if I greeted her with “Hi-diddly-ho; neighborino!”

#7 Gamblor – That mythical creature with neon claws that enslaves people (especially Marge) and makes them gamble.

#6 Dorkus Malorkus – from the Latin, according to Bart. I am definitely going to call someone that this week. Maybe more than one person.

#5 Unpossible – in the words of Ralph Wiggum: “Me fail English? That’s unpossible!”

#4 Jebus – If anyone can every find me a “Save me Jebus!” tee-shirt, I will bear your children.

#3 Sacrilicious – This applies to any of the words Homer uses. This one here was when he ate a waffle off the ceiling he thought was actually God. One of my favorites was when Homer ate flavored fertility drugs and said, “Mmmm…..ovulicious.” I thought Homer should salivate over a Halls cough drop and say “Mmmm….mentholicious.” but I can’t get anyone to back me up.

#2 Yoink! – I love onomatapoeiaing words!

And the number one made up Simpson word…

#1 Edumacation/Tramapoline/Saxamaphone – I say we change the regular words and make Homer’s words the real ones. Who’s with me?

All About My Sister

First of all, you’ll notice that there’s a new feature on this site. Over on the right you should see “Notifymylist” What his will (hopefully; fingers crossed) allow me to do is have the website update you when I have a new posting. If this works, I won’t have to send out the column via email any more. However, this is just a test to see if it works. So, what I want you to do is sign up for it, and then let me know if it works for you.

Today is my sister’s birthday, and in honor of that, I present the Top Ten things I like about her.

#10 She has really hot friends

#9 She has become a fantastic cook

#8 I used to time how long it would take her to go get the mail each day (even though I didn’t have a watch) and she would do it each time and believe me when I made up a time. It takes a sister to do that.

#7 She tries really hard to learn stuff I teach her

#6 She was the first family member to call me Hyperion

#5 She got me a huge stuffed lion for Christmas

#4 She’s extremely loyal to friends and family.

#3 She takes my opinion on books and movies seriously, and is more likely to want to see something if I like it

#2 When I hurt my ankles and couldn’t walk she helped me out, bringing food or getting medicine. I’d have never made it through those weeks without her.

and the number one thing I like about my sister (at least off the top of my head)….

#1 She thinks I’m the funniest guy she ever met

Bad Birthday Party

Still can't get that stupid email notification thing to work, so I thought I'd go ahead and post so you wouldn't be kept waiting.

Since my sister's birthday is tomorrow, I told her she could do a Top Ten list today about whatever she wanted.


"Seeing as this the eve of the anniversary of my birth, I thought it appropriate to make my top ten list about something related to birthdays. We all know that you are supposed to get presents, or a cake, maybe even a party. But no one actually talks about is the ugly side of birthdays. We have all had several bad ones...so without further ado….."

The Top Ten Worst Things To Happen at Your Birthday Party

10. Your Mother thinks it would be cute to pull out the photo album and show the most loathed of all pictures…bathtub pictures.

9. Several people get you the same present…the Backstreet Boys CD!

8. The “adult” slicing the cake refuses to give you the best piece, and you are left with the dreaded corner.

7. You eat too much birthday cake, and end up throwing up all over your crush.

6. Someone hits you instead of the piñata

5. Clowns….need I say more?

4. You play Spin the bottle and you continue to get the one person who makes your skin crawl, but your mother made you invite them.

3. Someone Dies….all joking aside this really would suck. My heart goes out to all of you.

2. No one shows up to your party.

And the number one worst thing to happen at your birthday party is….

1. You light your presents on fire. You laugh but I actually did this…. I got the most beautiful swimsuit one year, I held it up for everyone to see, and a candle burning near by lit it on fire. It burned so fast…and I was left with pieces of charred rayon, and spandex. Worst Birthday Ever!

Stupid Technology

I'm working on installing a system that will automatically email you when there's a new post on this site. (And if it works, I'll put it on several others.)

However, until I get it on I don't want to do any more Top Ten lists. Check back tomorrow for sure and then sign up for it.

I say Tomato

I want to do some more Simpsons, but I thought I’d take a week off in order to work on more quotes, and who knows? Maybe someone will send me a list or something.

Today we look at the lovely tomato. (And f.Y.I., this font is called “Plastic Tomato.” Pretty cool, huh?)

THE TOP FIVE USES FOR THE TOMATO

5 Bruschetta – Not only is this a great appetizer, but you can always tell who’s a poser by who says the word with a “sh” sound.

4 Salsa – This raises a good question that I put to you: Who makes the best salsa?

3 Pizza/Spaghetti/Marinara Sauce – Let’s be honest: these three are basically all the same, but they sure are tasty. I don’t think I would chose to live In a world without a good tomato sauce.

2 Sun-Dried – Someone explain to me how drying these bad boys in the sun makes them so sweet. Anyway, however it happens, they sure are great

And the number 1 use of the tomato

1 Ketchup – THE essential condiment of all time. I think it might even taste good on vanilla ice cream. Ketchup elevates tomatoes to the highest form of fruit: that which sacrifices itself for others. Amen.

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