Bad Ideas when pulled over

I'm not sure what made me decide to post this one, originally from one of my very first columns (#3 "I think I saw some doughnuts about a mile back...") Maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to do a list. I'm supposed to be on vacation people. (Which reminds me: if you want to do a guest list, now is the time, because once my vacation is over I'm back on the horse!)

Anyway, here are

THE TOP 13 THINGS NOT TO SAY WHEN PULLED OVER BY A COP

13. "I just saw a couple of your friends. One was going to Market and two were fighting over roast beef. Shouldn't you be going home?"

12. "How many bribes am I going to have to pay tonight?"

11. "I'll have a cheeseburger, large fries and a chocolate milkshake."

10. "I didn't know she was your daughter."

9. "...And I really didn't know the other woman was your wife."

8. "I've got a body thawing in the trunk so I'm kind of pressured for time, here."

7. "Read my lips: No more blowjobs!"

6. "Did you hear the one about the cop who pulls a guy over in and gets his head chopped off?"

5. "Sorry to hear about what happened to your family.......tomorrow." (Best with red contact lenses)

4. "Soouuueeeeeeeeey!!!!"

3. "Shouldn't you be racial profiling?"

2. "I'd kick your ass but I'm afraid your mom would break up with me."

and the number one thing not to say when pulled over....

#1. "Give me a break; I've been drinking."