The Winnie Cooper Hall of Fame

Do you ever sit around with friends and say something like, "Whatever happened to ____? She was so insanely hot in X, but then just disappeared..."

Well, maybe it's just me, because I think about these things quite often. So much so, I decided to do a top five list of actresses/singers who were so smoking and then just...poof.

Obviously I was going to call it the Winnie Cooper Hall of Fame.

Except...

Winnie Cooper doesn't really belong on the list. As I most emphatically proved in a Monkey Barn post last September, Danica McKellar is still alive and quite kicking. And, according to her IMDB Page, she's been working pretty steadily since The Wonder Years, just not in anything as iconic as Winnie Cooper.

Anyway, since I thought she deserved to be the list's namesake, I'm still calling it that, for now.

Random Note: As I was doing research for this list, I looked up the chick Mercedes from LICENSE TO DRIVE, since she was super hot and I hadn't seen her since. To my absolute shock I found out the girl was...actually, I can't even say it. See for yourself, if you must. Me, I feel the need to shower.

THE TOP FIVE NEW ENTRANTS TO THE WINNIE COOPER HALL OF FAME

#5 Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke) - Without her, there might never be ultra-tiny denim shorts or hopes that this year the family reunion would produce some real lookers. Catherine isn't even the hottest member of her family (her sister was a Bond girl and married Ringo Starr), but she'll always be my favorite.

#4 Kelly LeBrock (Weird Science Girl) - I don't mean to offend, but was there a better pair of tits in the '80s? (And they were real, too; bonus.) The picture is hard to see, but click on it and then let the natural enlarger work. That's a body! Kelly might have been single-handily responsible for the Science/technology boom of the late '80s/early '90s. Random note: the older brother? That was Bill Paxton! (BTW, thanks to McFrosty, who came up with this one while I am at the hotel. I wonder if that means she likes girls...)

#3 Maxine Bahns (Hope in SHE'S THE ONE) Edward Burns's second film has arguably the best-looking female cast of all time. Consider: Cameron Diaz at her absolute apex, Jennifer Aniston, when she still had the hair and enough weight on her that men were on hard-core lust and Amanda Peet, before we realized she couldn't act. But topping them all was Maxine Bahns, who plays Hope, the girl who marries Ed Brurns's character on the spur of the moment. There was just something about her...and we never heard of her again.


#2 Alanna Myles - The year was 1991. The song was "Black Velvet," a driving Southern Rock ballad with just a touch of Skynyrd and a whole lot of sex to it. Alanna's appeal went waaaaaay beyond her looks. You have to see her in action to comprehend, which is why I have given you this video. Please enjoy.

and the number one Inaugural Winnie Cooper All Star...

#1 Mia Sara (Sloane Peterson, and if you don't know where from, you suck) - I guarantee at least twice in your life you've been watching FERRIS and thought, "Whatever happened to Sloane?" She was hot, true, but there was something about her face. A quirk of her mouth, maybe, that said she wouldn't mind being bent over your grandmother's kitchen table, WHILE YOUR GRANDMOTHER WAS PLAYING MAH JONG WITH HER FRIENDS. Well, you get the idea. In fact, Sloane Peterson is such a perfect capper to this list that from now on I'm going to call it the Sloane Peterson All Stars.


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