RANK EVERYTHING: Misnamed

I've been thinking a lot about names lately, especially things that are mis-named. What's up with that? We want people new to America to learn English, the least we can do is call things what they are! Below I have listed some of the worst examples.

THE MOST MISNAMED THINGS IN THE WORLD (AND POSSIBLY THE SOLAR SYSTEM) TODAY

#17 Turtles - I guess I shouldn't complain, since real turtles don't taste this good, but the principle....

#16 Urinal Cake - Come to think of it, why would you eat a real cake in a urinal? Again, though, the principle!

#15 Sweetbread - There are Bad Carbs, and then there's just friggin' ridiculous.

#14 Paradise, Michigan - I don't know where Paradise is, but I know sure as shootin' it ain't in Michigan.

#13 Headcheese - I'm not quite sure what I expected headcheese to look like, but that ain't it.

#12 Grape Nuts - I've yet to figure out what Grape Nuts are, but I know two things it is not: grapes and nuts.

#11 Rocky Mountain Oysters - If you're ordering Oysters all the way in the Rocky Mountains, you really have no one to blame.

#10 Cheesecake - It doesn't taste like cheese or cake - it just tastes awful, and anyone who disagrees with me is clearly with the terrorists.

#09 Poker Chips - As Homer would say, "Don't try to eat these so-called chips."

#08 Tossed Salad - Umm....I must have made a mistake on this one. Just ignore it...coughcough

#07 Elephant Ears - My biggest complaint - no way those are the right size! Make 'em Elephant-size and I'm flexible on the pastry.

#06 Naked Lunch - To quote Nelson Muntz, "I can think of at least two things wrong with that title."

#05 Spotted Dick - I would have bet money this was a Venereal Disease. Looking at the picture, don't rule that out.

#04 Bearclaws - I thought eating a bear would give me the strength of a bear, but all I got was a sugar-coma.

#03 Hot Dog - If we do end up going the literal way, I vote for poodles first. As much as those dogs are pampered, they have to be the Kobe Beef of dogs.