Bon Jovi

Boy, I thought the Bears were controversial (almost tore my family apart); in many ways today’s List is even more so. When I first brought up the idea, I thought for the most part it was a slam dunk. “Everyone” knew which Bon Jovi songs were important and best, and there was no real argument.

Boy, was I wrong. The first disaster was when Koz and I first started making the list, months ago, before this column was even born. Koz had the top three in a different order, and he got so mad at me that he quit talking to me for a week.

You gotta love someone who would make a principled stand over Bon Jovi songs.

But let’s face it: growing up, Koz always took the short bus to school, so I really didn’t think too much of it, until last Saturday night at dinner. Quincy asked me what this week’s Lists looked like, and I happened to mention today. Instantly this quiet table of 10 CHURCH GOERS exploded in a heated shouting match over Bad Medicine vs. Livin’ on a Prayer.

If my columns are bringing families together, my Top Tens are splitting them apart.

Anyway, here is the TOP TEN BON JOVI SONGS

#10 It’s My Life – Sadly, probably the only good Bon Jovi song in the past decade, but it’s a good one. I especially like that video

#9 Born To Be My Baby – true story: I used a line from this song on a girl from Costa Rica—figuring she wouldn’t know I didn’t make it up. The line goes “You were born to be my baby and baby I was made to be your man.” Unknown to me, Bon Jovi was huge in Costa Rica, and she called me on it, but luckily, she thought it was cute I was trying pass off their lyrics as my poetry.

#8 Bad Medicine – This is such a fun song that it’s actually kind of shocking it’s not higher, until you see the rest of the list.

#7 Runaway – Bon Jovi’s first real hit, and the guitars still rock..

#6 I’ll Be There For You – I wonder if I’m the only one who wonders whether originally the song went “I WILL be there for you, these SIX words I swear to you….” Until Richie Sambora pointed out that “Five” was a much softer and sexier word than “Six.” Or maybe it’s just me.

#5 Blaze Of Glory – Technically this was just Jon, but the band played on it too. I really like this song; it has a sad elegiac feel while still rocking out.

#4 Lay Your Hands On Me – Admittedly this perhaps should not place as high, except that I am in the music video (my youngest claim to fame). I told this the other night at dinner and Sparrow asks, “Where are you in the video?” Everyone just stared at her. Where’d she think I was, up on stage lighting pyrotechnics with the Roadies? I was 13!

#3 Livin’ On A Prayer – This is Koz’s #2, and surprisingly, most people last Saturday had this #1. My theory is that growing up in church, they tried to bamboozle their parents that “Livin’ on a Prayer” was really a religious song.

#2 Wanted Dead Or Alive – Koz’s #1, and the cause of so much angst. I admit “Dead or Alive” is a great song, especially as he wails that “Wanted….Waaaaaaaaaanted….Dead or Alive…….” And then the guitars finish up. Good times.

#1 You Give Love A Bad Name – As good as all the other songs are, there can’t really even be a debate here. THIS is the song that made Bon Jovi the icons they were. When you heard the lyrics “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame; Darlin’ you give love….a bad name.” You instantly cranked up your radio. I can remember going to the skating rink (where I was much in desire by the “ladies”) and they had this music video jukebox. I know to today’s kids it will seem stupid, but this was before anybody but rich people really had MTV. We used to put fifty cents in (a King’s ransom at the time) and “Shot Through the Heart” was of course the first pick out of the box. How could it not be? This will be the song that gets them into Heaven.

Selah.

Thanks to Koz, The Cheesecake Posse, and Amazon.com

Up next: Most Emotional Movie Deaths