September 28, 2005

Bart's Crank Calls

One of the best running gags is Bart’s Crank Calls to Moe the Bartender. Moe almost never seems to catch on.

BART’S TOP TEN CRANK CALLS TO MOE

#10 Mike Rotch the PG version stolen from PORKY’S, but still very funny.

#9 Oliver Clothesoff There’s one Russian dude I wouldn’t mind seeing.

#8 Al Coholic I’d say at that tavern the chances of finding one are pretty good.

#7 Jacques Strap Moe’s reply: “Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap! Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap. It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!”

#6 Bea O’Problem Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?”
Barney says "You sure do!"
”Oh...it's you, isn't it? Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!”

#5 Heywood U. Cuddleme This time it was a telegram: Telegram for Heywood U. Cuddleme! Heywood U. Cuddleme? Big guy in the back, Heywood U. Cuddleme?”
A large man turns and stares at Moe as Lenny and Carl laugh
”Oh, do, that little, ooh...I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your
Union meets your Central Pacific!”

#4 Hugh Jass One of the few times things didn’t work out, since he was there and took the call!

#3 At this point, is Bart even trying? Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.”

#2 Homer Sexual I guess it wasn’t one of those bars: “Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual!”
Homer says "Don't look at me!"
”Oh, no...You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!”

And the number one crank call

#1 Amanda Huggenkiss Ladies and gentlemen, once again I present Moe: “Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?” and Barney gives the immortal reply: “Maybe your standards are too high!” Classic.

Up Next: How should I know? still no one sends me lists. I'll do my best to come up with something Simpsony

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