One Hit Wonders

I know These two weeks are supposed to be “Scary” lists. And I know you’re all eagerly awaiting the Scariest female celebs. But I really am so busy the last couple of days that I don’t even have the time to type up that list. Thankfully, of his own accord, Ajax stepped to the plate and sent me a Top Ten List. It’s not technically scary, but many of these singers gave me the creeps. We should have part two of the Celeb list tomorrow, when things have calmed down.

[And for those of you wondering why I’d associate with Ajax after his sacrilege against GNR, don’t worry. His punishment is coming. But we Greek Immortals have to stick together.]

THE TOP TEN LIST OF ONE HIT WONDERS

You've probably heard all these songs. And you've never heard from the artists again. So sit down, take a read, and think about all the times you've heard these songs without reflecting on the suspicious disappearances of their performers.

10. Chumbawumba- Tubthumping

http://www.chumba.com/

I get knocked down, but I get up again. Repeat. Over and over.

9. Carl Douglas- Kung Fu Fighting

http://www.70disco.com/kungfu.htm

A career as fast as lightning (yah!) where no one had expert timing (wah!)

8.Sisquo- Thong Song

http://www.123musicstars.com/music-stars/sisqo.htm

Didn't this guy do Oprah?

7. Flock of Seagulls- I Ran

http://www.oz.net/~davester/AFOS/

This band started one of the most ridiculous hair trends ever, a distinction recently awarded to white ska fans who think natty dreds look so awesome on genuine west indies rastas it has to look at least a little cool on them.

6. Fine Young Cannibals- She Drives Me Crazy

http://www.dsv.su.se/~mats-bjo/fyc/fychome.html

It the sort of band name you'd expect from more intelligent punks and metal-heads. Instead it's a fluffy pop group.

5. Vapors- Turning Japanese

http://www.thevapours.com/

Quintessential 80s fluff, mostly about stalking and defective relationships. Right up their with Tainted Love by Soft Cell.

4. Right Said Fred- I'm Too Sexy

http://misterwonderman.tripod.com/rsf.html

Have you seen this guy? In a pink shirt? So NOT sexy.

3. Vanilla Ice- Ice Ice Baby

http://www.vanillaice.com/

This guy even made a movie (Cool as Ice) before his star faded completely. You don't think the producers of that felt a little sheepish?

2. Sir Mix-a-lot- Baby's Got Back

http://www.sirmixalot.com/

I like to think of this song as a feminist anthem, striking a blow against the modern beauty myth. In a completely chauvinist and misogynistic manner, of course. (Personal note: I have the video of Baby's Got Back on my desktop.)

1. Dexy's Midnight Runners- Come On Eileen

http://www.dexys.co.uk/

Extra points for being so popular despite the most muddled and uncertain lyrics since Indagaddadavida and Louie Louie.