Christmas Movies

People have been arguing about holiday movies since Time Immemorial. Luckily, there's no longer the need, as I have stepped up to tell you all what's actually the best! Please forward this link to any and all, and make me happy. I haven't written a ton about each film, but several years ago I wrote #70 Life Lessons from Holiday Movies, and I encourage you to read that, to see what I really think.

THE TOP TWELVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES

Honorable Mention - SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS - One of the best bad movies ever made. Your whole family will have a blast watching this--especially if you get the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version. It's good to see Santa has other skills.



#12 BAD SANTA - Speaking of other skillz....BAD SANTA is a hilarious movie. Billy Bob Thornton plays a department store Santa who only gets the job to rob them. He's rude, crude, given up on life, and I've never laughed so hard in my life. Not for kids, but every adult with a sense of humor will be howling.



#11 DIE HARD - Okay, not your traditional Yule fare, but hey, it's Christmas Eve at the Nakatomi building, and John McClane is needed. One of the greatest actions movies of all time, and the Christmas time period allows me to proudly put it on my list.



#10 THE REF - A darkly funny movie. Denis Leary plays a thief who stumbles into the house of the most messed up family imaginable. He definitely got more than he bargained for. Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis are a riot, and Leary is in fine form. Great Anti-Christmas caper, but still with a warm fuzzy ending.



#9 NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION - My favorite of the Vacation movies (and that's saying something, since the first two feature nudity). Highlights definitely include Randy Quaid, the dog and that cat. The poor cat.....

#8 Irving Berlin's HOLIDAY INN and WHITE CHRISTMAS - I include these both because they are basically the same movie, even though they came twelve years apart. Despite what most people think, it's actually HOLIDAY INN that comes first, and where the song "White Christmas" was first sang. Supposedly INN is the better movie, but my uncle and I like WHITE CHRISTMAS better for two reasons: plenty of jokes about Danny Kaye's sexuality (which the audience wouldn't have gotten back then but today is hilarious), and this chick with a waist so small you can literally---and I mean literally--put your hands around it.

#7 A CHRISTMAS CAROL - I'm including every version here. I personally like the 1938 Alistir Sim version best, just ahead of the 1976 George C. Scott one, but I like them all, including 1951, the screwy American Christmas Carol (featuring Fonzy!), the Mr. Magoo one, and I'm sure the Muppet one, although I haven't actually seen that version, but I want to.



#6 THE FAMILY MAN - I have loved this movie since the moment I first saw it. Sort of a twist on the George Bailey set up, Nicolas Cage's character gets a "glimpse" of what his life would have been like if he'd married the girl instead of going for the big bucks. Great great film. Can't recommend it enough. You know how I feel about kids, but the daughter in the movie is simply adorable.



#5 HOME ALONE - What more can I say about this? Kevin is great, the robbers hysterical, and in every way a superior family film. Never gets old, either.



#4 LOVE ACTUALLY - One of the real gems of the past couple of years. Set in Britain the four weeks before Christmas, LOVE ACTUALLY shows us the lives and loves of many (perhaps a couple too many) interlocking characters. The films is R (for some pointless nudity, although is any nudity ever pointless?), but even my mom was won over. Everyone will have their favorite story lines. Mine involves the kid in the band and the Portuguese woman...of course.



#3 A CHRISTMAS STORY - TBS is getting ready to run this movie 24 hours straight, and I can't wait. Perhaps the best narrated movie ever, and does anyone else feel like THE WONDER YEARS ripped off their concept? How many classics do we have from here? The leg lamp, Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra, the tongue on the pole, the dream sequences, the secret decoder, and of course, poking your eye out.



#2 MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET - Warm, heartrending, a wiz-bang of a court scene, just a little scary, a cute kid (you know how I love cute girls), the best beard ever, and anything else you can think of. This film works so well they remade it, in a fine version, but Hyperion says: when a movie is perfect, why remake it? Just stick with the original. You too.


And the number one Christmas movie ever.....


#1 IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE - Like there was a doubt. I could talk for years about this movie, but do me a favor and scroll back up and read that link about holiday films. I say everything I want to there.

Thanks all for reading. We'll be back December 26th for "Best of 2005" week. See you then!