Another Birthday Wish

Gracie had a birthday yesterday too, but I didn’t want her to be shortchanged, so I gave her Thursday all to herself.

I met “Gracie” up at Denny’s. She’s quiet, almost shy…the type of girl where you might be led to think she doesn’t have a whole lot to say. Then you get to know her…and wow. There have been nights when I came home from writing and couldn’t get something she said to me out of my head. I’d chew on it for days.

#10 She has nice shoes – I only included this because it was Gracie’s contribution, but the more I think about it, the more it is a nice quality. Gracie always looks her best, but not in a Madison Avenue fashionista way or some kind of Club-whore. It’s a refined look, but beautiful in the sophistication. Last night her hair was all curly and she had this cool shirt on; Gracie always has clothes on I never see on anyone else. I like a woman with her own sense of style and who can look nice without it being ostentatious.

#9 She’s quick to pick up on a running Joke – Gracie will clue in on some inside joke and take up the reins without asking. That kind of timing is indeed rare.

#8 Positive Snarkiness – Gracie has a sense of humor that runs like an undercurrent beneath the waves. If you’re not looking for it you might miss it. However, when it does come out, there’s a sharpness to the wit and always catches me by surprise, in a good way.

#7 Compassionate Healer – Gracie’s profession is massage, but it goes deeper than that. She obviously cares about the well-being of those around her, and her willingness to help in anyway she can is obvious.

#6 Cultivated Perception – Gracie understands people. And when she doesn’t, she goes out of her way, makes a true effort to do so. That kind of empathy is hard to come by these days.

#5 Antithesis of Narcissism – We live in such a “me” world, but Gracie seems to leapfrog that. She’s not self-effacing, just interested in other people, and very non ego-centric.

#4 A Joy at the little things – I didn’t have my normal bag (which always has gifts), so when I found out it was her birthday all I could find was this hard square piece of foam that’s meant to hold the integrity of the pocket. I gave it to Gracie and she started playing with it, her face positively lighting up when she found out she could make the foam fly if she pressed down on just the right spot. That kind of contentment in small matters is a treasured trait, to me.

#3 Values the Continuity of Relationships – Many people look at relationships like strip-mining; getting what they can out of the people and then moving on. Gracie looks at it more like sustainable growth. Whether it be with family or friends, being connected with Gracie becomes a life-long event.

#2 Embracing the Spectrum – Gracie is one of the least affected people I've ever met when it comes the full spectrum of human emotions. So many people are afraid of the darkness, somehow thinking it makes them bad or evil to even acknowledge them. Gracie embraces the idea that with Joy comes sadness, with kindness comes cruelty. I think that she understands these emotions are part of us makes her less likely to be those things to other people. (Hyperion wrote about this a little bit in #279 The Beauty of Sadness.)

#1 She expects good things – Saying someone is positive might seem like not a big deal, but it so is. How many people do you run across (perhaps even in the mirror?) who just expect bad things to happen. They almost seem happier at the misfortune; it’s like they crave the pain. Gracie has figured out a way around that. I asked her if the last year of her life had been the best, and she wasn’t sure, saying it had been very positive, but there were so many great years. I asked her to make a top ten of her best years, and she said she didn’t know if she could, not because she couldn’t come up with ten years (that would be most people), but because there had been so many great years, how could she choose? That kind of openness doesn’t just come from luck or personality. We have to look to see the positive in our lives—it’s there, but we often try to ignore it. That Gracie doesn’t says so much about her. In this way above all others, I wish I could be more like her.