July 1, 2008

Canadian Animals

CANADIAN ANIMALS - LE RANKING



#13 Quebec Skunk - Yes, he's charming, but like the French.....




#12 Prince Edward Island Seal - If he were any cuter it would be illegal.




#11 Ontario Beaver - I think I visited a restaurant with this name just south of Toronto. Look at that little guy chomp!




#10 New Brunswick Humpback Whale - I was always going to name my first whale Willy, but now I'm thinking Brunny.






#9 Yukon Wolf - Not only could he eat you if he wanted to, he could eat your car.


[Special note: #13 - #9 are all made up because, appallingly, those provinces and territories didn't bother to get official animals. What kind of world do we live in where people don't have official animals??? It burns me up. Anyway, after exhaustive research into local environments, the animals above are what I think the provinces SHOULD have as their official animals, and they should get on that. That's why they are ranked last, even know wolves and whales are cooler than many that are to come. Hey, at least they're official. Okay, back to yakking. (Sadly, there are no Yaks.)]




#8 Northwest Territories Arctic Grayling - I have nothing at all good to say about fish, so I ranked this as low as possible. It physically pained me to rank it ahead of wolves and whales. (Wolves and Whales would make a great name for a tavern....or a band!)




#7 Saskatchewan White Tailed Deer - This is a pretty little animal. I would be a whole lot more impressed if hunters took one down with just a Nunavut knife.




#6 Newfoundland and Labrador Caribou - Dude, do a Google Image Search and type in Caribou. Just look at those horns! I had a terrible time trying to decide which ones to show you. Some of them look prehistoric! (I should be making some sort of Newfoundland and Labrador joke about how close they are to each other and the use of those horns, but I can't think of one, so let's just move on.)




#5 Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever - I have no idea what duck tolling means, but look how serious this guy is. I am not making fun of such a noble creature.




#4 Alberta Big Horned Sheep - I feel very confident there would be far fewer break-ins if people had a "protected by big horned sheep" sign in their yard.




#3 Nunavut Canadian Eskimo Dog - I was sad no newfoundland dog made the list, but this is pretty close. Look at that thing You get lost in the wild, and your ass is getting found!




#2 Manitoba Bison - Now more than ever, the world needs its Bison back. They're tasty, and cows thing they run the place. Yeah, cows, well I'd like to see you take on the Mighty Bison, baby!


and the number one Canadian animal is.....



#1 British Columbia Spirit Bear - What the Ursa Major is a Spirit Bear???? Is it a polar bear? An Albino Grizzly? No, the truth is even better. They are ghost bears with mythical powers. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Click on the link and see for yourself. I told you Canada was awesome!

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