Ode to Jello Butt

I was talking to someone yesterday, and somehow it came up that she had a Jello butt.

[Not for nothing, but there are many times when I cannot reveal the substance of my goings on, because they threaten national security, or confidentiality, or possibly taffy. Can I just say that I wish Wish WISH I could tell you the details of this particular conversation?]

Anyway, the person I was speaking to did not like being called Jello Butt, whereas I tried to impress upon the person how much of a complement it was.

"Men," I said persuasively, "like there to be a little 'junk in the trunk'"

Okay, maybe not so persuasively, as a five minute fight ensued. But it got me to thinking, "Is 'Junk in the Trunk' the only rhyming euphemism for what we're talkinga about?" I think not.

So, I set to coming up with a list, and, being me, ranking that list. (I also came up with a LOT of pictures, but for decorum's sake, I'm only posting a couple.) Remember, we're going to descriptive rhyming terms that describe that certain.....stature and movement one admires so much in the Women's Movement."

And without further ado, I present the

TOP FOURTEEN EUPHEMISMS FOR "JUNK IN THE TRUNK"

#14 Jiggle in the Squiggle


#13 Buzz in the Fuzz


#12 Fire in the Tire


#11 Slack in the Crack


#10 Goose in the Caboose


#9 Drum in the Bum


#8 Old Yeller in the Cellar


#7 Throttle in the Waddle


#6 Hiccup in the Pickup


#5 Sleazy in the Heazy


#4 Rewind in the Behind


#3 Vibratto in the Grotto


#2 Waggin' in the Dragon (or Draggin' in the Wagon)

and the number one euphemism is....


#1Fresh 'n' Fruity in the Root 'n' Tooty


Hey, I just thought of one more. What about more Wrassle in the....

Nah. I better quit while I'm behind.