Hyperion is Fruity

Trying to decide my favorite fruit was an almost impossible experience. I love fruit. I mean, I love it. I'm very fruity (and I mean that in as manly a way as possible.) If I could only eat two food groups for the rest of my life, I'd pick meat of course, and fruit. And If I could only pick one? Lord, let me never have to deal with that.

Having established my love of fruit, I needed to also establish some ground rules for my top ten list. One, there are quite a few vegetables that are technically fruit, foods like tomatoes, pumpkins, squash, peas, cucumbers, avocados and nuts. I'm not sure any of those would make my top ten anyway, but I didn't consider them; confining my choices to culinary fruits.

(You know I'm just dying to make a Richard Simmons joke here, but I'm somehow resisting.)

Secondly, I decided not to make all-around or "utility" judgments. In other words, a fruit like a lemon is very versatile, great for lemonade and in cooking, but doesn't rate quite as high on a pure fruit scale. Other fruits go great with or in lots of foods, like pies, salads and Popsicle flavors. However, my top ten Fruit list consisted of the fruit, by itself, no adornments, at the very peak of its existence. (This knocks other fruits lower that aren't quite as tasty but are in season all year 'round.)

Even then, it was excruciating. I spent waaaaaay too much time debating the various fruit pros and cons, and sadly have these Honorable Mentions: Plums, Apricots, Pears, Tangerines, Cranberries, Kumquats, Cantaloupe, Papaya, Passion Fruit, Guava, Dragon Fruit, Ugli Fruit, blackberries, boysenberries, marionberries, lemons, limes, and grapefruit.

Special Honorable Mention: Kiwi and Concorde Grapes. It physically hurts me that these two didn't make it.

THE TOP TEN FRUITS EVER (EATEN AT PEAK PERFECTION)

#10 Watermelon - At their peak a nice watermelon can cool you like nothing on Evon's Green Earth. I love to chow into a big hunk at a picnic, and as a bonus; my mom taught me how to make a little resort out of my wedge (an integrated resort, I might add, where white and black seeds co-mingle). We sculpt rooms, swimming pools, golf courses; you name it.

#9 Oranges - One of the most versatile fruits there is, and if we were grading that way orange would have to vie for #1, if for the juice and the year-round availability. Oranges usually get graded down a tad because they are so common, but imagine that perfect Sunkist orange… flowing with juice and pulp and deliciousness.

#8 Strawberry - What a sexy fruit this is. The perfect strawberry is just alive, and more than a little suggestive.

#7 Pineapple - There is nothing not to love about pineapple. I even love that tough core. If pineapple was easier to eat I think they would replace actual apples as the #1 fruit for counter-tops

#6 Peacharines - I'm cheating here, to give myself an extra slot, but at absolute perfect state, how could you choose between a nectarine and a peach? Both are sublime. A peach is a bit sweeter and has that great fuzzy texture, but the nectarine's firmness….too close to call, so I call them as one.

#5 Cherries - I remember once when my brother Achmed and I ate every single cherry off a neighbor's tree; I was so sick I thought I would die …but it was worth it. A cherry at perfection is incredible; lush, firm, ripe, kind of like something else I just thought of.

#4 Mangos - If we were making an all-around list, mangos would have to be #1, as they are my go to fruit. I like them unripe. I like them ripe. I like them overripe. I eat them a hundred different ways, and much like pizza, I never met a mango I didn't like. (Although, I will say that Hawaiian and Mexican mangos absolutely pale in comparison to Kenya mangos, which is
where I fell in love.)

#3 Blueberries - When I used to have disposable income I would eat 2 pints a day when they were in season. Then I found out that blueberries have more anti-oxidants than anything on Earth, and you actually SHOULD eat them every day. I didn't even know I was supposed to be Anti-Oxidant (sounds xenophobic, if you ask me), but whatever.

#2 Raspberries - It is so hard to find raspberries in season, but when you do, enjoy. The perfect combination of fruit with just a tad of tartness, a raspberry in full bloom is a thing of beauty

and the number one fruit of all time is....

#1 Salmonberries - I put this above #1 because they are practically non-existent. I only had them perfect once in my life, but I've never forgotten it. The same basic makeup of a raspberry, except salmon in color. (Sometimes they are called Golden Raspberries, but I've tried those fruits, and they're not the same.) The time I had Salmonberries was when we lived in Oregon. We picked them right off the bush. They were longer than raspberries. They had the same sharp tartness, but also a nectar-like quality of sweetness that I have spent most of my life trying to find again. Simply unmatched.