Ninja > Pirates

[In response to Lady Jane Scarlett's passionate defense of Pirates yesterday, I asked Kapgar for a Rebuttal. This is what he came up with....]



I posted on my site last week a conversation I had with a friend about the merits of ninja over pirates. I, personally, believe ninja are superior. Clearly, I'm right.

But, just as additional support, I'm posting ten reasons why ninja are superior for your reading pleasure...

10. Gods of timeless fashion. Black never goes out of style.

9. Did you ever hear Jerry Seinfeld whine, "but I don't wanna be a ninja"? Nope. 'Nuff said.

8. Cooler weapons. And more of them. And they know how to use them. Pirates have swords, but very few seem to know how to use them. At least Hollywood would have you believe that.

7. As I said on my site, "butt ninja" was never an insult bandied about by high school jocks, now was it?

6. Did G.I. Joe ever have a pirate action figure? I don't think so. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes would've just kicked his ass for no reason other than they could.

5. Remember that scene in The Bodyguard with the katana slicing cleanly through a silk scarf that floated down on it? Yeah, they're that sharp. Now if only Whitney had pushed a little. And he had pushed back. "Cut! Our leads are dead. That's a wrap, folks."

4. Kill Bill never could have happened with pirates. Seri0usly.

3. Ninja are the ultimate mystery. While pirates may use their garishness to scare people, ninja use their mystique.

2. Pirates rely on stories of fear told by survivors to carry on their legend; ninja leave bloodied, headless corpses as their calling card. Which is more fearsome?

and the number 1 reason why ninja are cooler than samurai...

1. You'll never hear an actor claim that Keith Richards was the inspiration for their portrayal of a ninja in a movie.



Kapgar also did a Top Ten Ninja list, but somehow it got destroyed in transfer. If I can get it back I'll post it. In the meantime, here is a collection of well known awesome Ninja. If you don't know at least 6 of them you suck. (And no, Raphael is not included. He's cool, but rude.)