Da Vinci Code Spin offs

In light of the staggering success of The Da Vinci Code, people are rushing to put out similar books and movies. Here are the top ten efforts thus far:

#10 THE PINCHY CODE – When is it flirting, and when is it just sexual harassment?

#9 THE GIVENCY CODE – Looking into what makes people overpay by 400% just to look like a dork?

#8 THE JUDY DENCHY CODE – How can a woman who gets nominated for Oscars every time she turns around not only appear in every James Bond film, but THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK?

#7 THE MAEVE BINCHY CODE – Just why women read book after book of the same Irish town.

#6 THE DAVID LYNCHY CODE – Trying to figure out what on earth his movies mean. (Seriously: what’s up with that key in the blue box?)

#5 THE NINE INCHY CODE – The phallic symbolism of the Washington Monument, the CN Tower, The Eiffel Tower and Big Ben.

#4 THE SPINACHY CODE – Deconstructing just what on earth Popeye is talking about. (Here’s my great Popeye story. When the comic first came out in the 1920s it was very adult, and included sexual entendres. The papers found out that kids had somehow become fans, and dictated to the author that he’d have to tone it way down, or as my dad puts it, “Start using Extra Virgin Olive Oyl.”)

#3 THE GRINCHY CODE – Deciphering the language and subtext of Whoville. (Fah who for-aze! Fah who for-aze! Dah who dor-aze!)

#2 THE FRENCHIE CODE – Why do they wear berets? Why do they insist they are a superpower when they haven’t won a war since the Dead Sea was only sick? And why oh why are they terrified of soap? (Note: I’m not against all Frenchies.)

And the number one spin off of The Da Vinci Code…

#1 THE WENCHY CODE – What does she mean when she says she’s not mad? Which questions should you answer, and which should you avoid like the plague? How can you understand someone who changes her mind every 14 seconds?